I’m in a quandry about the Passover holiday with my husband. For YEARS and YEARS I’ve been cooking Passover dinner for my Husband, his family, and all of his friends. Oye Ve! it’s a lot of work and a very tense time in our household.For YEARS my husband gets all stressed out over it, (although I do the majority of the work), and then he gets aggressive and mean. I literally think of him as cracking a whip on my back pressing me to, “Go! forward! onward!” like I’m some kind of workhorse. Actually now I come to think of it, he has referred to me as a “Sicilian mule” Ha!Then when the big day arrives there he is in his (I kid you not) old leisure suit at the head of the table like some potentate all pompous like instant “Rent a Rabbi,” directing people, presiding over the loooooong sevice. Same old jokes,(“And then the Israelites spread a broad! Ha Ha! get it? “Spread a broad!” ) ha ha ha.
Same old epiphanies, same old arguments about the Middle East.. ugh.
Meantime I’m the serving wench in the kitchen hauling out the homemade traditional food I’ve learned to cook for him, the matzaball soup, the timmez, chopped liver with black radish, kugle (two ways!), kasha and varnishkas…don’t ask! and I’m Italian Catholic!
Year before last we had this big blow up right on the morning of the event. He chased me around the house caused me to trip and he hit me. So a bit later I poured a pot of matzaball soup over his head,(it was cold) and ran away…where did I go? uh? I HAD NOWHERE TO GO!I drove to my grandparents cemetery, I’m named for them, I never met them. I found their grave and walked around then went home, showered, dressed up and served the dinner!
So now it’s Passover time again…last year, it fell a couple of months after I’d told him about my sexuality, I was feeling more and more that the wife role was over for me. I said I wasn’t going to do Passover, but then relented and did it anyway.
But this year I’ve gown so much, I’m so much more me and I don’t want the nonsense any more! My children consider themselves Italian Catholic, so it’s not as if it’s their tradition I’ll be forgoing, as I mentioned Passover was for him, his friends, and his children from a previous marriage. So I’m not going to do it this year…or should I?
I mentioned this to my therapist yesterday she said; “why would you want to do it? It’s a family tradition, but they change when there is divorce,” (we are at the beginning stages of divorce; husband has moved to a separate apartment in our home, I’m dating women).
Say WHAAATTT???? am I crazy? I just read this over, so I’m not doing Passover ! “du a nu!” enough!
